Reason for being alive.

Reason for being alive. I just found the reasons. One of those reasons are 

Graduating. Yes, i just graduated from junior high school this morning. It's officially that i'm no longer a junior high school student. But i'm unofficially a senior high school student. because, i still have to do MOS. it's an important thing to do before entering a new school. it's my country's culture. 

And now i just can't believe i'll be a senior high school girl. Time flies so fast. and I suddenly feel the length of the days. Well I'm standing at the door to a new world . I can say something like that. To a new world. What I've realized is that I'm not alone. After all this time i realize it. There are things that don't go the way I planned 

But if I look up to the sky, even they seem small. Like seriously. And start from now i'll just do the best i can do. I'll never dwell on my past. doing the best on everything i do now is enough.

I won't believe

They say they love me, but what. their action kills me inside. deeper and deeper day by day. I wonder, what if my parent isn't here? what if they leave me alone? I'll seriously be one of those lonelier people on earth. I pray to Allah everyday to keep my parent safe and sound.

Right now, they're still here. right here by my side. and those people can do everything they want to do. They don't even respect me. like, go away. you have your own family. I'm scared about my future life. i'm not sure about my tomorrow and i'm not sure about my day today.

Why?!

I don't understand why life could be this unfair. I mean, yes life has its ups and its downs. but think about this, once you are in its up do you want to be in its down? No. yes i know. because i do. 


People that are rich become richer, poor become poorer. people that are beautiful will be more beautiful. That's unfair. I mean, why can everyone that has everything can get everything they want? and people who has nothing, can't get everything they want?! isn't it unfair? yes it is!


And i just can't understand how people can give up everything only for their life. like, their happiness or something like that. how can people be so selfish and heartless? I'm exhausted!

My mood

These days i feel like i want to scream out my lungs. You know. i'm exhausted. this situation. and this kind of feeling. I'm so exhausted.


Well i just want to say. I don't need to calm down because the only thing someone has to do is. shut up. you know, stop talking. don't ask anything from me anymore. 


I feel so annoyed these past 2 days. Someone borrow my laptop and first she made an account of herself in my laptop. ok, do you think it's yours?! second, she delete all my google chrome data. she deleted all the history, i want to say f**k you! but okay, i'm a wise person. i won't say such thing. But i'm so angry. I even cried. You made me cry means i'll make you cry even harder. that's the motto. 


I don't like it when someone touches my laptop. it's mine. i share everything there. how dare you delete all the history from my google chrome. annoying person. I'm so so mad! 


So last but not least, i want to say. please don't disturb my privacy. don't even touch something that's not yours. don't do something with which is mine. sucks! 

Please

So here i go. i just wanted to say, people. please respect my privacy. there are things i can't share with public. and I sure everyone too. 


Respect me and my privacy. please don't force me to tell what i don't want to tell to public. it's like, you just killed someone and you spread the news that you just killed someone. isn't that awful? isn't that awkward. so please respect it :)


So from now on, i'd love to hear no one asks me whether i'm in a relationship or not. can you? i know you guys can do it ;) 


and please, DO NOT say something about me that's not true. it kills me inside. i may look like i don't care, but truth is it kills me. Ok? 


Have a good day!